This TedTalk, Celeste Headlee’s “10 ways to have a better conversation,” is FULL of good advice.
The TedTalk is less than 12 minutes long, but if you want to jump in to the start of her Top 10 list, jump to 4:09.
Transcript of "10 ways to have a better conversation"
TED Talk Subtitls and Transcript: When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to…
What resonates the most with you? What do you plan on working on for yourself?
A few quotes (but, really, go ahead and listen to the full TedTalk. You can also read along with the transcript option):
Don’t multitask. . . I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don’t think about your argument you had with your boss. Don’t think about what you’re going to have for dinner.
Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.. .We’re sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop. And we stop listening. Stories and ideas are going to come to you. You need to let them come and let them go.
Don’t equate your experience with theirs. If they’re talking about having lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member.
[Listen.] Why do we not listen to each other? Number one, we’d rather talk. . . But there’s another reason: We get distracted. The average person talks at about 225 word per minute, but we can listen at up to 500 words per minute. So our minds are filling in those other 275 words. And look, I know, it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone, but if you can’t do that, you’re not in a conversation. You’re just two people shouting out barely related sentences in the same place.
…enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn.