Other questions to ask than “How are you?” (And brief, authentic answers to give when “fine” isn’t accurate)
“How are you?” is culturally a very normal question.
But, oof, we all know the real answer on any given day can be quite complex.
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Inside my head, my answer might be:
…in the last hour? Blerg.
Today? That’s a long time. 17 different emotions, maybe 27 even?
Lately? *BLINK* *BLINK* <overwhelm>
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It can be daunting to find the right words for our genuine answer in the time that’s right to give our reply.
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There’s a variety of reasons we might fall back on something like “Fine, you?” even when that isn’t the full truth.
But this reply doesn’t always feel right.
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If you want to briefly answer “How are you” when “Fine” doesn’t feel authentic,
here are a few other options:
“I’m good, all things considered.”
or “Hanging in there.”
or “I’m ok, all things considered.”
or “Better now that I’m chatting with you!”
or “Getting by.”
or even “One day at a time, right?”
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Sure, It’s easy to ask the same question back, but what if we start moving away from asking “How are you?”
A few ideas of questions to ask instead of “How are you?”:
- “What’s been happening in your life lately?”
- Follow up with something they mentioned last time the two of you chatted. “How did <that experience they were planning for> go?”
- “Whatcha been up to today</this week>?”
- If already you know things are going pretty ok for them lately, a question like “What’s been good in your life lately?” can be nice, but you may want to skip this one if you know they’ve been struggling lately or if you don’t know if they’re currently doing well or not.
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What are questions you prefer to use instead of “How are you?”
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What brief answers do you use when you’re not feeling “fine” or better?
Share your thoughts in the comments to inspire the rest of us. ❤
To check out some great suggestions from folks in the Reframe Your Brain Facebook group, check out their comments here.
Sending you love,
Keridwyn Deller, Hypnotherapist
