Would you say that to a friend? (Step away from negative self-talk)
Are you battling with negative self-talk? Next time you notice that you are giving yourself a hard time, I invite you to pause and reconsider: how would you speak to a good friend in this moment. Find these words and say them to yourself. Allow yourself to have a kinder conversation with yourself.
Sometimes, negative self-talk feels so “normal” that we don’t even recognize that we’re doing it. What if you took one hour of your day tomorrow and noted down all the things you said to yourself.
Helping clients create a more positive, loving relationship with themselves is one of my favorite things about being a Hypnotherapist. By working on a subconscious level with hypnosis, clients can build a new relationship with themselves and let go of limiting beliefs. We have the ability to be best friends with the most influential person in our lives: ourselves.
Here’s an exercise you can do on a conscious level to get yourself started:
“Try the following exercise. Write down some of the negative messages inside your mind . . . be specific, whenever possible, and include anyone you remember who contributed to that message. Now, take a moment to intentionally counteract those negative messages with positive truths in your life. Don’t give up if you don’t find them quickly. For every negative message there is a positive truth that will override the weight of despair. These truths always exist; keep looking until you find them.
You may have a negative message that replays in your head every time you make a mistake. As a child you have been told, “You’ll never amount to anything” or “You can’t do anything right.” When you make a mistake — and you will because we all do — you can choose to overwrite that message with a positive one, such as “I choose to accept and grow from my mistake” or “As I learn from my mistakes, I am becoming a better person.” During this exercise, mistakes become opportunities to replace negative views of who you are with positive options for personal enhancement.
Positive self-talk is not self-deception. It is not mentally looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see. Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself. One of the fundamental truths is that you will make mistakes. To expect perfection in yourself or anyone else is unrealistic. To expect no difficulties in life, whether through your own actions or sheer circumstances, is also unrealistic.
When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward. The practice of positive self-talk is often the process that allows you to discover the obscured optimism, hope, and joy in any given situation.” — Dr. Gregory Jantz
I invite you to join the free Facebook community “Reframe Your Brain” at fb.com/groups/reframeyourbrain.